She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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