This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize