Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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