She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
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Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
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I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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