nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize