Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize