Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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