Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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