I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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