what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize