Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
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With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
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I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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