I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
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One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize