He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize