sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize