There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
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Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize