I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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