Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
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My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
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Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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