Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize