I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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