STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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