my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize