youre lurking in front of me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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