apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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