dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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