I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
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Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
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Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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