it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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