would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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