The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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