Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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