she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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