Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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