I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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