Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize