I think my vagina is haunted
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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