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This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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