Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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