I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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