i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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