I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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