She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize