If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize