apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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