i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
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im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
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I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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