I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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