Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where does the pee come out of this thing
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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