I will die if light touches me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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