I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize