I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
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Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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