And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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