My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
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a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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